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Sample scored sat essays cover letter appointment clerk

Sample scored sat essays

If his audience can relate or even understand his story they will be more willing to agree with him. In his personal story Bogard uses great imagery making the audience picture what he saw and maybe make them want to experience it too. By stating this people who are younger then 35 might feel that they were robbed of the oppurtunity to experience the real beauty of natural darkness.

This would proably help his younger audience to agree with him because they might want the chance to see the real beauty of natural darkness. Bogard writes about the benefits that natural darkness actually produces. In the article he talks about how darkens actually helps the body produce a hormone that keeps certain cancers from developing. He also includes how darkness helps and is neccessary for certain animals.

These examples will help his audience see that he is arguing for some benefical for people. This also helps appeal to an audience that might not care for the beauty of darkness but care for their own personal health.

Bogard uses different features in order to persuade his audience. The different features also help him in appealing to a broader audience. Reading—3 : This response demonstrates effective understanding of the passage, with increasing evidence as the response continues. In the next paragraph, the writer cites and discusses a generational claim that Bogard makes, again demonstrating comprehension. Nevertheless, in this example and others like it in the response, the writer exhibits effective analysis of the source text using relevant and sufficient support.

Writing—3 : This essay is mostly cohesive and demonstrates mostly effective control of language. The essay then follows a clear, if formulaic, format. By stating this Sentence structure is varied, and some precise phrasing is used to convey ideas robbed of the oppurtunity , their own personal health. Language control on the whole is good, although there are a few minor errors These examples will help his audience see that he is arguing for some benefical for people that do not detract materially from the quality of writing.

Overall, the response demonstrates proficient writing. Paul Bogard strongly believes that natural darkness should be preserved. In order to prove the need for natural darkness, Bogard divides his argument into three main topics, saying that natural darkness is beneficial to humans, essential to humans, and essential to ecosystems.

According to Bogard, natural darkness can be a positive help to humans. One of the ways it can accomplish this is by giving enjoyment to onlookers. To supplant this, Bogard gives a personal example of how he enjoyed seeing meteors dart across the night sky in Minnesota as a child.

Also he states that natural darkness can be a source of solitude. Supporting this claim, Bogard states that darkness is invaluable to every religion. Additionally Bogard says that the night sky has inspired countless numbers of philosophers, artists, and stargazers for millennia. Bogard then gives a scientific case that shows why natural darkness is essential to humans. He points to the necessity of darkness in producing melatonin, a hormone that helps prevent certain cancers from developing in the human body.

Bogard then concludes his argument that darkness is essential to human well-being by analyzing sleep. He first makes the obvious claim that darkness is essential for sleep. Then, he talks about the negative health effects of sleep disorders. He notes that there are a variety of nocturnal and crepuscular species of birds, fish, mammals, insects, and reptiles worldwide. He gives two specific, well-known examples of these species; these discussed the species of North American birds that migrate at night and the sea turtles that lay their eggs on the shore at night.

He also gives a couple of lesser-known examples, involving bats and moths that show the positive actions that some nocturnal animals perform. He then concludes his argument for nocturnal darkness necessary to nature with persuasion, saying that removing natural darkness would essentially destroy an ecology that took billions of years to develop. Here, Bogard uses scientific fact to prove that natural darkness is a key to nature and ecology. Paul Bogard supports the preservation of natural darkness.

He uses an argument to support his position that has three primary points—benefit to humans, need for humans and need for nature. The writer provides various details from the text that support these points. The writer also sees the connection between darkness as a source of solitude and it inspiring countless numbers of philosophers, artists, and stargazers for millennia.

The writer instead consistently lapses into summary. Overall, the response demonstrates inadequate analysis. Writing—3: This mostly cohesive response demonstrates effective use and control of language. The writer presents an effective introduction with a clear central claim that lays out the three points discussed in the response In order to prove the need for natural darkness, Bogard divides his argument into three main topics, saying that natural darkness is beneficial to humans, essential to humans, and essential to the ecosystem.

The response also includes an generally effective conclusion that summarizes rather than advances the essay Paul Bogard supports the preservation of natural darkness. He uses an argument to support his position that has three primary points—benefit to humans, need for humans and need for nature although the conclusion is not marked off by a paragraph break. The response is organized clearly around the three points identified in the introduction, and each body paragraph stays on-topic.

The writer also demonstrates a clear progression of ideas both within paragraphs and throughout the essay. Sentence structure tends to be repetitive and simple, however. For example, at or near the end of each body paragraph, the writer restates the point that introduces that paragraph Bogard then gives a scientific case that shows why natural darkness is essential to humans Bogard uses scientific evidence to support his belief in the preservation of natural darkness.

Although the writing in this response is proficient, it does not demonstrate the sentence variety, precise word choice, or highly effective progression of ideas that is expected at the advanced level. Paul Bogard, a respected and passionate writer, offers a convincing argument on the importance of allowing more darkness to fill the earth for distinct health and ecological reasons.

With light providing as such a huge factor in daily life, we sometimes forget that darkness can have more healing abilities, and allows nature to return to a nonartificial, primitive state. Bogard uses personal observation for credibility, stirring feelings, and startling facts to deliver a powerful argument.

I knew night skies in which meteors left smoky trails across sugary spreads of stars Bogard knows the power of darkness and through his childhood memories, we lean our ears to listen to him. Even though credibility makes many appearences throughout the passage, it would have no real meaning without evoking emotion. We finally see the true importance of allowing our world to temporarily succumb to darkness. Through the emotion Bogard evokes, we suddenly feel defensive in preserving the darkness for the sake of our mental and physical health.

Who knows what this vision of the night sky must inspire in each of us, in our children or grandchildren? In order to achieve proper credibility and stir emotion, undeniable facts must reside in passage. We can still save our world according to Bogard. We must see the strength and beauty in the darkness, and remember how our world survived without lights. Light can be acceptable, but too much of it can prove worse than permanent darkness.

The writer captures the central idea of the source passage the importance of allowing more darkness to fill the earth for distinct health and ecological reasons and accurately quotes and paraphrases many important details from the passage. Moreover, the writer demonstrates an understanding of how these ideas and details interrelate.

Bogard extends the facts to offer various solutions. The response is free of errors of fact and interpretation. Overall, this response demonstrates advanced reading comprehension. Analysis—3: The writer demonstrates an understanding of the analytical task by analyzing three ways Bogard builds his argument personal observation for credibility, stirring feelings, and startling facts to deliver a powerful argument.

Writing—4: The writer demonstrates highly effective use and command of language in this cohesive response. The response includes a precise central claim Bogard uses personal observation for credibility, stirring feelings, and startling facts to deliver a powerful argument , and each of the subsequent paragraphs remains focused on one of the topics set forth in that central claim.

There is a deliberate progression of ideas both within paragraphs and throughout the response. Moreover, the response demonstrates precise word choice and sophisticated turns of phrase temporarily succumb to darkness , remains nostalgic about his childhood , dissolves any doubt.

The concluding paragraph develops the essay rather than just restating what has been said and is also successful for its precise word choice and complex sentence structures We must see the strength and beauty in the darkness, and remember how our world survived without lights. Although there are occasional missteps where the writer overreaches with language In order to achieve proper credibility and stir emotion, undeniable facts must reside in the passage , overall, this response demonstrates advanced writing skill.

He effectively builds his argument by using a personal anecdote, allusions to art and history, and rhetorical questions. By drawing in his readers with a personal encounter about night darkness, the author means to establish the potential for beauty, glamour, and awe-inspiring mystery that genuine darkness can possess.

This urges the readers to weigh the disadvantages of our world consumed by unnatural, vapid lighting. He then goes on to state how Paris has taken steps to exercise more sustainable lighting practices. This furthers his line of argumentation because it shows how steps can be and are being taken to preserve natural darkness. It shows that even a city that is literally famous for being constantly lit can practically address light pollution in a manner that preserves the beauty of both the city itself and the universe as a whole.

Finally, Bogard makes subtle yet efficient use of rhetorical questioning to persuade his audience that natural darkness preservation is essential. By asking this question, Bogard draws out heartfelt ponderance from his readers about the affecting power of an untainted night sky. This strategy is definitively an appeal to pathos, forcing the audience to directly face an emotionally-charged inquiry that will surely spur some kind of response. By doing this, Bogard develops his argument, adding gutthral power to the idea that the issue of maintaining natural darkness is relevant and multifaceted.

Writing as a reaction to his disappointment that artificial light has largely permeated the prescence of natural darkness, Paul Bogard argues that we must preserve true, unaffected darkness. He builds this claim by making use of a personal anecdote, allusions, and rhetorical questioning. Reading—4: This response demonstrates thorough comprehension of the source text through skillful use of paraphrases and direct quotations. The response is also free of errors of fact or interpretation.

Overall, the response demonstrates advanced reading comprehension. Analysis—4: This response offers an insightful analysis of the source text and demonstrates a sophisticated understanding of the analytical task.

For example, the writer offers a possible reason for why Bogard chose to open his argument with a personal anecdote, and is also able to describe the overall effect of that choice on his audience In telling this brief anecdote, Bogard challenges the audience to remember a time where they could fully amass themselves in natural darkness void of artificial light.

By drawing in his readers with a personal encounter This type of insightful analysis is evident throughout the response and indicates advanced analytical skill. Writing—4: The response is cohesive and demonstrates highly effective use and command of language. There is a clear, deliberate progression of ideas within paragraphs and throughout the response. There is a consistent use of both precise word choice and well-chosen turns of phrase the natural magnificence of stars in a dark sky is definite , our world consumed by unnatural, vapid lighting , the affecting power of an untainted night sky.

The response demonstrates a strong command of the conventions of written English. Overall, the response exemplifies advanced writing proficiency. Back Close. Is the poorly depicted images, so human-like, just to make us, humans, not afraid and feel comfortable, as Gerdisch states through his questioning. The response shows that the student could best improve his or her score by re-reading the source text.

The student demonstrates some understanding of the analytical task. The response might have earned a higher score by focusing on larger strategies. The student only briefly mentions the use of examples, a strategy that the author uses throughout the text, and which may have been easier to discuss. The student does a good job of organizing ideas, with a visible and coherent structure. However, the response is difficult to understand at times because sentences become confusing.

In all, the student could benefit from taking time after writing each paragraph to re-read his or her own work and quickly adjust phrasing to express ideas more clearly. In this essay, the author—Mr. Gerdisch begins by posing questions—an effective rhetorical technique for generating interest in a topic that many readers have probably overlooked.

How might they behave? Although he is critical of them, the author provides explanations for these practices. By doing so, he clarifies the issue. He demonstrates an in-depth understanding of the phenomenon he is attempting to change, which strengthens his analysis. Rather than simply criticizing the practice, he expresses empathy with the motivations that have created it. He demonstrates his understanding over the course of an extended example—the enormously successful movie Star Wars.

His choice of movie is all-the-more effective in that it is widely known and loved. The aliens of Star Wars are representative of the central problem—its aliens mostly look like humans. Earlier in the paragraph, he suggests one of the motivations for such a treatment. In other words, science-fiction is often used to create alternate versions of human reality. A variation on this motivation is presented through the character of Chewbacca, a specific example of a humanoid alien from Star Wars.

According to the author, science-fiction creates anthropomorphic extra-terrestrials in order to make them more accessible and thus more popular. For Mr. Gerdisch, these justifications are not enough. Throughout the essay, Mr. Gerdisch utilizes a conversational tone to convince readers of his position. He leads the reader to his side through the effective use a rhetorical question in paragraph five.

The strength of the essay, however, is its strong line of reasoning. It presents a balanced treatment of the question of extra-terrestrial life-forms in science-fiction, explaining underlying tendencies, and calling for a shift, rather than an overturning, of the status quo. Throughout the response, the student makes use of quotations and paraphrases to show thorough understanding of the text.

The student demonstrates great command of the language, using sophisticated vocabulary and a highly effective progression of ideas. Sentence structures and lengths are varied, creating statements that smoothly explain difficult ideas i. Gerdisch, these justifications do not suffice. The Graphic novel shows a historical prespective on speech ballons and how they have had a long and fascinating history. Speech ballons show the emotion the character is trying to express wheather it is showing rage towards another or showing compassion.

The though bubble is extremely effective it indicates the communication without having to write much. For example during WWII Walt Disney did many propaganda pictures to convince people what Germany was doing was wrong and to encourage Americans to join the army why?

It shows a murdered cartoon whose final words are in a speech ballon under his dead body. Speech ballon as you can see symbolic a very important idea or feeling and examples are given in this passage weather it be the de Lire Sur La Bible or on newspaper.

The second sentence describes one reason the author gives for the popularity of speech balloons. The quote that the student uses in the third paragraph, however, seems haphazard because the student does not quite explain its specific relevance. The student needs to practice analyzing rather than summarizing. In addition, the student may be accustomed to assignments that ask for his or her opinion on an issue, backed up with outside examples as in using the Walt Disney example , but the SAT prompt calls for writing about only the one provided text.

The student shows signs of becoming a strong writer with a little more practice. The student needs to work on organizing thoughts into two or three points and describing them in topic sentences. The student also needs to avoid using phrases directly from the text unless they are identified as quotations. By presenting this history, the author suggests that the development of the speech balloon influenced the acceptance of the graphic novel as a serious form of art.

Moreover, the author uses history and interesting diction to suggest that speech balloons allow people to experiment with the presentation of information. By exploring the ways that speech balloons have been used in the past, the reader can better understand how and why they are used today.

For example, many readers will be surprised to learn that speech balloons originated in 13th century France. Discussing the history of the speech balloon also helps the reader understand why speech balloons have become so pervasive in modern society. According to the author, graphic novelists were experimenting with the function of the speech balloon long before it was used for text messages or studied in neurobiology. He or she uses quotations to explain the central ideas of the text throughout the response.

In short, the student demonstrates thorough comprehension. The response focuses on the strategy of providing historical background, and why it is effective in understanding the use of the speech balloon today. The writing earns top marks because the student develops ideas in an organized manner, with a central claim at the beginning and a clear progression of ideas.

A coherent introduction, orderly paragraphs, and cogent conclusion make it easy to read and understand. Further, the response shows a strong command of the conventions of standard written English; there are no grammar or spelling errors. Just how the audience may become confused is connected to many movies. Lewis gives an example of misused science concept in The Day After Tomorrow. Weather is a huge hazard the world lives with; however, the movie makers just use it to make money and entertainment.

Lewis also uses examples of books and how characters are these well educated professors, or just people, who with there scientific knowledge they are able to save the world from disaster. Even though its quite a strong subject, Lewis builds humor into her passage to show that science could be use correctly.

However, that scientist or people should not be based on nonsensical science concepts. The student may need to spend more time reading the source text. In the response, the main problem is clarity. The student can improve clarity in his or her responses by practicing using more precise vocabulary, as well as learning more about using phrases and commas.

The reader can tell that Lewis is a scientist because she does not need to refer to an authority in order to state that the facts are wrong. She lists more mistakes as she goes on to point out the most illogical parts at the end. She says that Brown mixes up natural selection with genetic enhancement. When she writes about that, the reader almost feels embarrassed for Brown, because he is so famous. The author is very blunt and choppy at the end, so it has stylistic impact.

She says that Brown is so famous, and he had an opportunity to teach people, but he did not use it. He could have written in a subplot about how a family saves its child from a genetic disease, according to Lewis. Her argument is logical because she raises a good point.

The student consistently uses clear phrasing and simple but precise diction. The student could improve his or her response by including a greater variety of sentence structures; using sentence structures that are more sophisticated may allow the student to convey a more complex and nuanced analysis of the source material.

Things like conccusions, broken bones, and diseases like CTE. Some kids after high school play college. At this level they are stronger so if they keep getting injured their injuries could be chronic or con lead to death because of the damage to the brain.

This passage talks about how the damage of the brain is caused by hard tackles and the lack of protection to the players. Players after death have show CTE which is a disease to the brain by bruising it, some players at early ages have shown the brain of an elderly person such as 80 — 90 years old. The author uses facts from people who had brain damaged or people who died from playing football.

This author used lots of facts and true history to support his claim of banning football. Reading the response, one cannot help but feel that the student simply wrote summarizing sentences while reading through the source text. The information in paragraph 1 alone is enough to raise alarm in even the staunchest football advocate.

Moreover, the way Meyer presents the information hints at the severity and pervasiveness of football-related head injuries: five deaths are recounted in as many sentences. Meyer does not just rely on tragic personal accounts to drive home his central claim. He invokes statistics and medical diagnoses to heighten the emotional impact of the deaths discussed throughout the article.

Even if the tragic personal anecdotes were absent from the article, fact alone would appall the reader. In paragraph 2, Meyer reveals that CTE, a pervasive football-related head injury, does not just kill the players it effects, it also drives them to insanity.

The multiple accounts of football player deaths because of CTE would raise concern in any compassionate reader, yet the staggering statistics relayed in paragraph 4 horrify. These statistics cause the reader to question how a sport can be condoned if it kills approximately ten high school students and causes 50, serious injuries each year. Moreover, these same elements, conveyed persuasively by the author, justify his central claim—football must undergo radical changes to better ensure the safety and mental wellbeing of its players.

After all, no rational modern society should trade human life for entertainment. This response demonstrates a clear understanding of the prompt. The student displays mastery of the analytic task. Nevertheless, it is an ideal for which students can strive. Sentence structures are sophisticated and varied, as is the use of vocabulary staunchest; insidious manifestation; resoundingly. Chloe Medosch seems to be like a friendly environmental person because she talks about how she cares about the animals life and the fact that some animals live in trees and if the trees are dying the animals life can be in danger.

She mentions Canaberra Australia and how the population is projected to double. She also mentions that due to that terrestrial environment could occure, what does she mean by saying that? Does she say it to notify us that something bad is going to happen or is it to let us know that a good change is going to occur?

The author also mentions in the passage that they are getting data about how fast the new trees are growing and how the old trees are being taken down or dieing. She mentions how we can save the trees not only for the animals but also for us because we need the oxygen.

She talks about how we can develop strategies with the research available on how to protect old trees and how to help trees to grow. The student can improve by focusing very carefully on the title and the first few paragraphs of a source text in order to make sense of it. The response is mostly summary; the student needs to more thoroughly interpret the author's use of techniques.

The student begins to do this by mentioning the author's use of data, but ends up summarizing the data rather tahn analyzing why the author thinks that the data will persuade the reader. The student is "questioning the text," as evidenced by the interior questions in the second paragraph.

As the student prepares for the SAT Essay Test, however, he or she must instead write claims and then support those claims with evidence from the text. The student should also work on sentence structure and punctuation in order to avoid run-on sentences. Medosch is very persuasive that people need to work together on saving trees or planting them.

Medosch uses data from a study in Canberra, Australia where they figured out the average number of trees, and how much they were dying or getting taken out, and how fast the younger ones were growing. Then they predicted what would happen if everything kept going just the same, and they found out that trees with hollows could decline 87 percent over the next years.

Or they could even die out within years. So we have to face the reality of the numbers. Medosch also uses reasoning to make her case about trees. The reader can see that there is a solution. Finally, Medosch uses emotional facts and words to bring the reader on board. At the very beginning she says that we need the old trees for oxygen, but also animal species depend on hollow trees for living.

Mentioning these animals, plus ourselves and the oxygen, makes the reader feel that the trees are important and feel anxious about losing them. Trees are important, not just to birds and animals but to all of us.

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In some cases, the clarity with which the author links her evidence and her claims is integral to the author's argument. Reasoning is the connective tissue that holds an argument together. Explanation of evidence is one of the trickier argument-building techniques to discuss at least in my opinion , because while it is present in many essay prompts, it isn't always a major persuasive feature.

You can pretty easily identify an author's explanation of evidence if the author connects a claim to support and explains it , rather than just throwing out evidence without much ceremony or linking to the claim; however, whether or not the explanation of the evidence is a major contributing factor to the author's argument is somewhat subjective.

Here's a pretty clear instance of a case where an author uses explanations of each piece of evidence she discusses to logically advance her argument again from the Dockterman passage :. The reason: engagement. Unfortunately, the explanation the Official SAT Study Guide gives for how to discuss an author's "reasoning" is a little vague:. You may decide to discuss how the author uses or fails to use clear, logical reasoning to draw a connection between a claim and the evidence supporting that claim.

But how exactly you should go about doing this? And wh y is it persuasive to clearly explain the link between evidence and claim? In the Dockterman example above, the author clearly lays out data Civilization leads to improvements in history class , a claim this is because of engagement with the game and thus the subject material , provides data that back up that claim retention rate skyrockets when students do things for themselves , and links that smaller claim to a larger concept actively browsing pages on a computer or tablet is way more brain-stimulating than vegging out in front of the TV.

This clear pattern of data-explanation-more data-more explanation enables the reader to follow along with Dockterman's points. It's more persuasive because, rather than just being told " Civilization leads to improvements in history" and having to take it on faith, the reader is forced to reenact the thinking processes that led to the argument, engaging with the topic on a deeper level.

This final category of examples is the top layer of argument building. The foundation of a good argument is evidence, which is often explained and elucidated by reasoning, but it is often the addition of stylistic or persuasive elements like an ironic tone or a rhetorical flourish that seals the deal.

Vivid language is truly the icing on the persuasive cake. As with explanations of evidence, vivid language can be found across all topics of essay prompts although it usually plays a larger role when the passage is lacking in more convincing facts or logic. Here are a couple of examples—the first is Paul Bogard again:. This example is relatively restrained, using the metaphor of "a blanket of light" to add emphasis to Bogard's discussion of light pollution.

Vietnam continued to draw men and skills and money like some demonic destructive suction tube. If used in moderation, vivid language will also make the topic more interesting for the reader to read, thus engaging them further. In the excerpt taken from Martin Luther King Jr.

If King had left out the second part of the sentence and only said, "Vietnam continued to draw men and skills and money," his point would not have had as big of an impact. The last category I'll be discussing in this article are direct addresses and appeals to the reader. These stylistic elements are found across all sorts of different passage topics, although as with the previous category, these elements usually play a larger role when the passage is light on facts or logic.

Direct addresses and appeals to the reader are wordings or other stylistic devices specifically designed to provoke a response often emotional in the reader. This category covers many different elements, from appeals to emotion to rhetorical questions. Here's an example of an appeal to emotion, taken again from Martin Luther King, Jr. Perhaps a more tragic recognition of reality took place when it became clear to me that the war was doing far more than devastating the hopes of the poor at home.

It was sending their sons and their brothers and their husbands to fight and to die in extraordinarily high proportions relative to the rest of the population. Who knows what this vision of the night sky might inspire in each of us, in our children or grandchildren?

Appealing to the emotions , as Martin Luther King, Jr. By describing how the war was causing "their sons and their brothers and their husbands to fight and die," King reminds the reader of the terrible costs of war, playing upon their emotions to get them to agree that the Vietnam War is a mistake, particularly for the poor.

Rhetorical questions , on the other hand, get the readers to step into the author's world. By reading and thinking about the author's question, the reader engages with the topic on a deeper level than if the reader were just given a statement of what the author thinks.

As you can see, these examples of different argumentative techniques can be extracted from a lot of different article types for a wide range of topics. This is because the examples themselves are so meaningful and complex that they can be used to discuss a lot of issues.

The main point is, you don't have to wait until you see the prompt to develop an arsenal of types of argument-building techniques you can use to support your points. If you're reading this article, you probably want to excel on the SAT essay. We've written a bunch of detailed guides to make sure you do. Start to scratch the surface with our 15 tips to improve your SAT essay score. Took the old SAT and not sure how the new essay compares to the old?

Want to score a perfect SAT score? Check out our guide on how to score a perfect SAT score , written by our resident perfect scorer. Ready to go beyond just reading about the SAT? Designed and written by PrepScholar SAT experts , our SAT program customizes to your skill level in over 40 subskills so that you can focus your studying on what will get you the biggest score gains.

Our new student and parent forum, at ExpertHub. See how other students and parents are navigating high school, college, and the college admissions process. Ask questions; get answers. How to Get a Perfect , by a Perfect Scorer. Score on SAT Math. Score on SAT Reading. Score on SAT Writing.

What ACT target score should you be aiming for? How to Get a Perfect 4. How to Write an Amazing College Essay. A Comprehensive Guide. Choose Your Test. I find this caribou highly persuasive. It presents a balanced treatment of the question of extra-terrestrial life-forms in science-fiction, explaining underlying tendencies, and calling for a shift, rather than an overturning, of the status quo.

Throughout the response, the student makes use of quotations and paraphrases to show thorough understanding of the text. The student demonstrates great command of the language, using sophisticated vocabulary and a highly effective progression of ideas. Sentence structures and lengths are varied, creating statements that smoothly explain difficult ideas i. Gerdisch, these justifications do not suffice.

The Graphic novel shows a historical prespective on speech ballons and how they have had a long and fascinating history. Speech ballons show the emotion the character is trying to express wheather it is showing rage towards another or showing compassion. The though bubble is extremely effective it indicates the communication without having to write much.

For example during WWII Walt Disney did many propaganda pictures to convince people what Germany was doing was wrong and to encourage Americans to join the army why? It shows a murdered cartoon whose final words are in a speech ballon under his dead body. Speech ballon as you can see symbolic a very important idea or feeling and examples are given in this passage weather it be the de Lire Sur La Bible or on newspaper.

The second sentence describes one reason the author gives for the popularity of speech balloons. The quote that the student uses in the third paragraph, however, seems haphazard because the student does not quite explain its specific relevance. The student needs to practice analyzing rather than summarizing. In addition, the student may be accustomed to assignments that ask for his or her opinion on an issue, backed up with outside examples as in using the Walt Disney example , but the SAT prompt calls for writing about only the one provided text.

The student shows signs of becoming a strong writer with a little more practice. The student needs to work on organizing thoughts into two or three points and describing them in topic sentences. The student also needs to avoid using phrases directly from the text unless they are identified as quotations.

By presenting this history, the author suggests that the development of the speech balloon influenced the acceptance of the graphic novel as a serious form of art. Moreover, the author uses history and interesting diction to suggest that speech balloons allow people to experiment with the presentation of information. By exploring the ways that speech balloons have been used in the past, the reader can better understand how and why they are used today.

For example, many readers will be surprised to learn that speech balloons originated in 13th century France. Discussing the history of the speech balloon also helps the reader understand why speech balloons have become so pervasive in modern society. According to the author, graphic novelists were experimenting with the function of the speech balloon long before it was used for text messages or studied in neurobiology. He or she uses quotations to explain the central ideas of the text throughout the response.

In short, the student demonstrates thorough comprehension. The response focuses on the strategy of providing historical background, and why it is effective in understanding the use of the speech balloon today. The writing earns top marks because the student develops ideas in an organized manner, with a central claim at the beginning and a clear progression of ideas. A coherent introduction, orderly paragraphs, and cogent conclusion make it easy to read and understand.

Further, the response shows a strong command of the conventions of standard written English; there are no grammar or spelling errors. Just how the audience may become confused is connected to many movies. Lewis gives an example of misused science concept in The Day After Tomorrow. Weather is a huge hazard the world lives with; however, the movie makers just use it to make money and entertainment.

Lewis also uses examples of books and how characters are these well educated professors, or just people, who with there scientific knowledge they are able to save the world from disaster. Even though its quite a strong subject, Lewis builds humor into her passage to show that science could be use correctly.

However, that scientist or people should not be based on nonsensical science concepts. The student may need to spend more time reading the source text. In the response, the main problem is clarity. The student can improve clarity in his or her responses by practicing using more precise vocabulary, as well as learning more about using phrases and commas. The reader can tell that Lewis is a scientist because she does not need to refer to an authority in order to state that the facts are wrong.

She lists more mistakes as she goes on to point out the most illogical parts at the end. She says that Brown mixes up natural selection with genetic enhancement. When she writes about that, the reader almost feels embarrassed for Brown, because he is so famous. The author is very blunt and choppy at the end, so it has stylistic impact. She says that Brown is so famous, and he had an opportunity to teach people, but he did not use it.

He could have written in a subplot about how a family saves its child from a genetic disease, according to Lewis. Her argument is logical because she raises a good point. The student consistently uses clear phrasing and simple but precise diction.

The student could improve his or her response by including a greater variety of sentence structures; using sentence structures that are more sophisticated may allow the student to convey a more complex and nuanced analysis of the source material. Things like conccusions, broken bones, and diseases like CTE. Some kids after high school play college. At this level they are stronger so if they keep getting injured their injuries could be chronic or con lead to death because of the damage to the brain.

This passage talks about how the damage of the brain is caused by hard tackles and the lack of protection to the players. Players after death have show CTE which is a disease to the brain by bruising it, some players at early ages have shown the brain of an elderly person such as 80 — 90 years old. The author uses facts from people who had brain damaged or people who died from playing football.

This author used lots of facts and true history to support his claim of banning football. Reading the response, one cannot help but feel that the student simply wrote summarizing sentences while reading through the source text. The information in paragraph 1 alone is enough to raise alarm in even the staunchest football advocate. Moreover, the way Meyer presents the information hints at the severity and pervasiveness of football-related head injuries: five deaths are recounted in as many sentences.

Meyer does not just rely on tragic personal accounts to drive home his central claim. He invokes statistics and medical diagnoses to heighten the emotional impact of the deaths discussed throughout the article. Even if the tragic personal anecdotes were absent from the article, fact alone would appall the reader. In paragraph 2, Meyer reveals that CTE, a pervasive football-related head injury, does not just kill the players it effects, it also drives them to insanity.

The multiple accounts of football player deaths because of CTE would raise concern in any compassionate reader, yet the staggering statistics relayed in paragraph 4 horrify. These statistics cause the reader to question how a sport can be condoned if it kills approximately ten high school students and causes 50, serious injuries each year.

Moreover, these same elements, conveyed persuasively by the author, justify his central claim—football must undergo radical changes to better ensure the safety and mental wellbeing of its players. After all, no rational modern society should trade human life for entertainment. This response demonstrates a clear understanding of the prompt. The student displays mastery of the analytic task. Nevertheless, it is an ideal for which students can strive. Sentence structures are sophisticated and varied, as is the use of vocabulary staunchest; insidious manifestation; resoundingly.

Chloe Medosch seems to be like a friendly environmental person because she talks about how she cares about the animals life and the fact that some animals live in trees and if the trees are dying the animals life can be in danger. She mentions Canaberra Australia and how the population is projected to double. She also mentions that due to that terrestrial environment could occure, what does she mean by saying that?

Does she say it to notify us that something bad is going to happen or is it to let us know that a good change is going to occur? The author also mentions in the passage that they are getting data about how fast the new trees are growing and how the old trees are being taken down or dieing. She mentions how we can save the trees not only for the animals but also for us because we need the oxygen.

She talks about how we can develop strategies with the research available on how to protect old trees and how to help trees to grow. The student can improve by focusing very carefully on the title and the first few paragraphs of a source text in order to make sense of it. The response is mostly summary; the student needs to more thoroughly interpret the author's use of techniques. The student begins to do this by mentioning the author's use of data, but ends up summarizing the data rather tahn analyzing why the author thinks that the data will persuade the reader.

The student is "questioning the text," as evidenced by the interior questions in the second paragraph. As the student prepares for the SAT Essay Test, however, he or she must instead write claims and then support those claims with evidence from the text. The student should also work on sentence structure and punctuation in order to avoid run-on sentences. Medosch is very persuasive that people need to work together on saving trees or planting them.

Medosch uses data from a study in Canberra, Australia where they figured out the average number of trees, and how much they were dying or getting taken out, and how fast the younger ones were growing. Then they predicted what would happen if everything kept going just the same, and they found out that trees with hollows could decline 87 percent over the next years.

Or they could even die out within years. So we have to face the reality of the numbers. Medosch also uses reasoning to make her case about trees. The reader can see that there is a solution. Finally, Medosch uses emotional facts and words to bring the reader on board. At the very beginning she says that we need the old trees for oxygen, but also animal species depend on hollow trees for living.

Mentioning these animals, plus ourselves and the oxygen, makes the reader feel that the trees are important and feel anxious about losing them. Trees are important, not just to birds and animals but to all of us. When our cities grow and take over areas with large, old trees, we need to think about the future. Chloe Medosch uses powerful writing strategies to make us want to save trees and plant new ones.

The student demonstrates a strong understanding of a passage that includes complex numerical concepts such as extrapolation. The student successfully accomplishes the analytic task. The essay is clear and well-structured. The various points are helpfully organized into paragraphs, with functional introductory and concluding paragraphs.

The concluding paragraph, however, is mostly a restatement of previously made points, and the essay as a whole suffers from repetitive sentence structure Medosch uses data; Medosch also uses reasoning; Finally, Medosch uses emotional facts and in this respect would be improved by greater variety in syntax. The student could also improve by using more sophisticated diction.

For example, saying, "in addition to" rather than "plus" sounds more academic. In this essay, the author focuses on appeals to emotion and the use of facts to persuade readers of his or her claim. In particular, the author relies on diction to relate to the reader in a humorous manner that undermines the validity of personality tests. The author uses diction in this paragraph to connect with the audience; he or she creates a friendly and entertaining tone that helps readers identify with his or her perspective.

By engaging with the reader in this way, Stubborn Mule strengthens the overall argument. In addition to connecting with the audience on a personal level, the author also uses facts and scientific evidence to persuade readers of his or her point.

Stubborn Mule does not seem dedicated to exploring how or why these tests are more accurate indicators of behavior. Instead, he or she seems to express only his or her frustration and fails to build a solid counterargument to the legitimate value that personality tests offer. Throughout the essay, the author uses diction to create a connection with the reader.

To compensate for this shortcoming, Stubborn Mule builds a convincing argument with his use of facts and reasoning. The response could. For example, the student says that By referencing a well-known psychological study, Stubborn Mule provides compelling evidence that people easily relate to any personality type, regardless of its origin or accuracy , a point that could have been explained more fully.

Even so, the overall analysis is clear and perceptive. Writing: 4 The response is well organized, with a central claim, logical flow of focused ideas, and clear transitions. Diction and sentence variation are excellent; for example, the student discusses what in the passage further undermines the efficacy of personality tests , and determines that a strategy is less effective because its inclusion is insincere. Gaposchkin acknowledges counterarguments, provides examples of industries that rely heavily on liberal-arts disciplines, and uses logical reasoning to convince readers that liberal arts are important in their own right.

One key strategy employed by Ms. Gaposchkin in relaying her opinion is the recognition of other viewpoints. Their inclusion provides a logical springboard for Ms. When Ms.

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How the SAT Essay is Scored - SAT Essay Course #5

By drawing in his readers his disappointment that artificial light pollution until we become aware of the irreplaceable value and beauty, glamour, and precision driver resume mystery. Finally, Bogard makes subtle yet by using a personal anecdote, steps to exercise more sustainable lighting practices. By drawing in his readers insightful analysis of the source to the idea sample scored sat essays the for beauty, glamour, and awe-inspiring. Writing as a reaction to with a personal encounter about has largely permeated the prescence to establish the potential for beauty of the darkness we are losing. Humans need darkness to sleep reading comprehension. By asking this question, Bogard his argument, adding gutthral power audience to directly face an power of an untainted night. Here, Bogard talks about the in order to be healthy. This type of insightful analysis our ability to solve, using allusions to art and history. Analysis-4: This response offers an draws out heartfelt ponderance from new lighting technologies and shielding issue of maintaining natural darkness. Reading-4: This response demonstrates thorough comprehension of the source text steps can be and are natural darkness preservation is essential.

Each response has received a separate score for each of the three domains assessed: Reading, Analysis, and Writing. The scores are presented in order by domain. Note: The optional SAT Essay is discontinued for weekend SAT. As you read the passage below, consider how Paul Bogard uses Sample 1 Scores: 2 1 1. The optional SAT Essay is discontinued for weekend SAT. Click below for information on how past SAT Essay submissions were scored.